


When Will it End.

by dragonluvr



Category: NCIS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-02
Updated: 2013-06-02
Packaged: 2017-12-13 19:08:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/827805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonluvr/pseuds/dragonluvr





	1. Chapter 1

When Will it End?

The case they caught was bad. It all started with a string of rapes, brutal beatings of the victims. Ten young Marines had their lives destroyed and torn apart. Their wills shattered and left on the ground covered in their own blood. The latest victim was just 19 years old and after they raped and beat him left him naked on the doorstep of Quantico. His body had been so badly beaten that he wasn't even recognizable as human. The multiple injuries that had been left on him were so severe he died. Which is why Gibbs and his team had been called in. 

“DiNozzo witness statements, David bag and tag, McGee photos. Let's get busy people I want to catch the bastards that did this to one of our men.” Gibbs growls.  
“On it Boss...” They all reply in unison. 

As Gibbs watches his people he notices that McGee has paled in color.   
Walking over to his youngest agent “McGee is there something wrong?”   
“No Boss.”  
“Then get busy.”  
Tim gulps as he watches Gibbs walk away. Tim turns back and begins shooting the scene. His thoughts travel back to that fateful night two months ago. He was walking home from the little corner store with one of the ingredients that he needed for the dish he was cooking. Just as he passed the alleyway thats when they jumped him. They dragged him back into the alley and started beating him. He fought back until he couldn't resist anymore. He was hurting so bad he just gave up and let them do to his body what they would while his mind retreated into a dark corner.   
While they were searching him thats when they found his apt. keys. They decided to take him back to his apt and finish with him. They had already raped him twice. They thought it would be funny to rape him in his own apartment so he would remember what they did to him in his own home. They were laughing, calling him names, and telling him what they were going to do to him once they got him home. When they got him to his apartment they dragged him inside locked the door and then drug him to his bedroom where they tied him to the bed and then the raping began again.   
As the memories flood back into his mind he feels the tears start again. He can feel the dead Marines humiliation at the hands of these men. He remembers waking up in his bed with all three of them naked one inside him forcing his cock inside his already abused body. He remembers screaming as the large cock was rammed inside him without any lube. No condoms no lube. The only lube the guy had was the cum from the first two guys raping him and cumming inside him. He doesn't know how long the rapes lasted but he knew that when he woke up the next day his body was beaten and battered and that it took all his strength to walk to the bathroom and vomit. His ass was so sore he thought he might have been torn up inside so he decides to go to the hospital and get checked out. He knows he has to get an AIDS test now because of this.   
Tim didn't want anyone to know what had happened to him so he made a discreet police report and gave them all the evidence he had collected from his apartment. He went to a small clinic had the rape kit done and then he went back to his apartment.   
He had called in letting them know he was sick and wouldn't be in that day. He knows that there will be questions and he will have to enduring Tony's stupid insinuations but like always he will endure them.   
Once he got home he curled up and cried. He wondered why this happened to him.   
Tim continues to snap pictures while Ziva is bagging and tagging. He doesn't notice the silent tears escaping and running down his cheeks.   
Unbeknownst to Tim, Ziva has been watching him. She never believed his story of him falling down the stairs. She knows Tim can be clumsy but she knows better. When she looks up and see's him crying she knows that there is more to this than what McGee has told her. Getting up she quietly walks over to Tim.   
“Tim is something wrong?”   
“No Ziva nothings wrong? Why do you ask?”  
“Because Timothy your crying? Do you want to explain that to me?”   
“Its just seeing this young man and what was done to him. Thats all.” McGee says and turns back to his work hoping that no one else has seen his tears.   
Ziva leaves it alone and going back to her work as well.  
After its all said and done, they start to get into the cars when Gibbs yells “ McGee your with me.”


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Once inside the car Gibbs turns to McGee.   
“McGee are you alright?”   
“Fine Boss.”  
“Why don't I believe you McGee?”  
“I don't know and don't frankly care. Why all of the sudden do you care anyway? You never have before? So why now?” McGee says the anger evident in his voice.   
Gibbs lets it go he knows that he will get to the bottom of it sooner or later.   
They ride back to the yard in silence. Once there Gibbs heads to autopsy and then to Abby's lab. He needs to talk to Ducky about McGee.   
Tim heads back to the bullpen to get the searches started. He knows that the local LEO'S have some of their information so he begins to hack into the LEO's database for any related crimes. He knows that he can't have anyone on the team finding out about what has happened to him. 

Gibbs enters autopsy just as Ducky begins his autopsy of the young Marine.   
“What can you tell me Duck?”  
“Well Jethroe I can tell you that your young Marine was raped repeatedly. He was beaten, kicked and he was tortured. The violence done to this young man was horrendous. I can't imagine the kind of rage that these men had for this young man. They even mutilated him Jethroe.”   
“Duck its not him I am interested in at the moment its McGee?”   
“Why Jethroe is something wrong with him?”  
“I was hoping that you could tell me. He was very upset out at the crime scene today. I caught him crying. I didn't want to confront him about it then but when I tried to call him on it. He just told me to leave it alone. That's not like McGee. I was hoping you could shed some light on the subject.”   
“ I don't know Jethroe. McGee hasn't confided in me lately. In fact for a couple of months now he hasn't been to see me unless you have sent him. The last time he came down to talk to me was just before he fell down the stairs. I had noticed that he was limping and in obvious pain but he wouldn't let me look at him. Do you think something other than a fall happened to him?” Ducky asks.  
“I don't know Duck but something is really bothering him about this case. I am going to get to the bottom of it if it kills him.”   
“Jethroe becareful when you talking to him. You have to get him to talk if you go in like an adversary he will clam up?”   
“I will be careful Duck.” Gibbs says over his shoulder as he leaves the room. 

Ducky just shakes his head at Gibbs back. Knowing that it will be a miracle if Gibbs gets the young man to talk.   
Going back to the body on his table. While Gibbs heads up to Abby's lab. 

Upon entering the lab Gibbs ears are assaulted painfully with the loud music.  
Walking over he turns the music off.   
“Gibbs what are you doing I need my music?”  
“I need to be able to talk to you. Now that that's settled what have you got for me so far Abb's?”  
“Not much Gibbs other than your Marine was raped by three different men. Ducky found sperm inside him and it has three different genetic codes.”  
“So we're looking for three different men. Good work. Now I want to know what the hell is wrong with McGee? Has he talked to you?”  
“What do you mean is Timmy hurt?”  
“Thats what I was hoping you could tell me.”   
“I haven't seen much of Tim since he fell down the stairs. Why whats wrong Gibbs?”   
“I don't know Abb's something about him feels wrong has for a long as I can remember. I was hoping he had talked to you?”   
“Maybe you should talk to Ziva? He might have told her.”  
“Thanks Abb's.”  
Gibbs kisses her on the forehead and turns to leave as one of her machines beeps.   
“What is it Abb's?”  
“I was running a test on the samples that Ducky brought me for HIV. Now we will know if these guys have it or not. If they do I feel for their victims.” Abby states.   
“Well then what does it say? Did they or didn't they have it?”   
Abby goes over to the beeping machine and pulls up the results. “We have a winner. OH! NO! Gibbs we need to find these guys victims. All three have AIDS. OH Gibbs what are we going to do?”   
“We're going to find these bastards and put them away for what they have done to these men.” Gibbs stalking out of the lab.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

McGee had been headed down to the lab to find Gibbs when he overhears them talking. He hears that the men who have been doing these rapes have AIDS. He slumps down against the wall. His world is turned upside down. One of his greatest fears has befallen him. Not only him but the rest of their victims as well.   
McGee can feel his stomach churning as the acid begins to rise in his throat. He stands up on legs that threaten to give way on him. Rushing through the stairwell door and upto the bullpen hoping he can make it to the head before his stomach comes up through his throat.   
Rushing into the head he hits the first empty stall and begins throwing his guts up.   
Unbeknownst to Tim, Tony was in the head and see's Tim throwing his guts up.   
Instead of saying something he quietly leaves him alone and heads back to the bullpen to await McGee's arrival. 

When Tony gets back to the bull pen he spies Gibbs exiting the elevator.  
Walking over to Gibbs he takes his arm and steers him toward the staircase going up to the Director's office.   
Gibbs glares at Tony wondering what the hell is going on with younger agent.   
“What to explain yourself DiNozzo?”   
“Boss somethings wrong with Probie he's in the head throwing up. Normally I would tease him but Boss he doesn't look good. Do you know whats wrong with him?”   
“That's what I've been trying to find out. I was on my way to talk to Ziva to see if she knows.”  
Stepping out of their hiding place they head to Ziva's desk.   
“Ziva do you know whats wrong with McGee?”   
“As a matter of fact I do.”  
“Then spill it.”  
“I will not. If Tim wants you to know then he will tell you or you should ask him yourselves?”  
“Ask me what Ziva?” Tim says walking up behind them.  
“They want to know whats wrong with you. I told them to ask you if they want to know? That is all.”  
Both men turn to look at McGee who is very pale and barely standing.   
“What's wrong with you McGee?” Gibbs growls.  
Just as McGee is about to deny that anything is wrong, Abby bursts out of the elevator.... “ Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs, I found something I think you should see. What's wrong with you McGee?” She says aggravation in her voice.   
“What do you have for me Abby?” Gibbs interrupts before McGee can say anything.  
“I ran that DNA through the data base and found that there were more than twenty victims of these guys.”  
“How many Marines and how many were civilians.”  
“I only found two civilians and the rest are marines. The civilians records were sealed to protect the victims.”  
“McGee get me the names of the victims. I want them within the hour.” Gibbs demands.   
Tim looks at Gibbs straightens his back and looks Gibbs in the eye. “NO! I will not do that. I don't care if you fire me but those men have a right to their privacy. I won't be the one to betray them. I will quit before I do that. Haven't they been through enough without you bullying them.” Tim demands anger in his voice.   
Gibbs moves into Tim's space and gets right in his face. “You will do this, McGee or you can get out now! Do you hear me!”   
Tim turns and walks back to his desk types a few keystrokes, picks up his bag, walks over to Gibbs and slams his badge and gun down on the desk. “Do it your self. I quit. I would have done most anything for you Boss but this crosses the line. Leave those men their dignity at least.” 

“McGee! Don't you dare walk out on me!” Gibbs yells as Tim moves towards the elevator.   
Vance has seen and heard the whole discussion he knows what Gibbs is asking of his youngest agent and he knows that McGee is right.   
“McGee my office now!” Vance yells.  
“Maybe you didn't hear me but I don't work here anymore so shove it! Both of you!”   
“Agent McGee don't make me have the MP's bring you back and set you in my office.” Vance declares.  
His shoulders slumping Tim reluctantly goes to the strairs and begins his slow climb up to the directors office.   
Gibbs starts to follow when Vance says “ And just where do you think your going Agent Gibbs?”  
“I want to know what the hell is going on with my agent Leon?” Gibbs growls the anger evident in his voice.  
“Didn't you hear him Gibbs, McGee is no longer your agent or part of your team nor is he a part of this agency. You are not entitled to hear mine and McGee's conversation. Do I make myself clear?”  
“Yes Director.” Gibbs says taking his licks and walking back to his desk glaring at McGee's back.   
“Follow me Agent McGee.” Vance says leading the young man into his office.  
“Would you mind telling me what the hell just happened down there Agent McGee?” Vance says as he sits down on the couch in his office facing Tim.   
“You said you heard it so what do you want from me?” Tim says looking at this hands that are in his lap.  
“I want the truth Tim? What is this really all about?” Vance says concern in his voice.  
“Its personal sir.”  
“Tell me what is going on. Your one of the most brilliant minds I have ever had the pleasure to work with. You intelligent, your kind, caring, and you care about the people you work with. So why are you throwing that all away? Help me to understand this?”  
“You wouldn't understand just like none of them understand. How could you? The only one that understands is Ziva?” Tim says his voice trembling with the strain of holding his emotions in check.   
“Then why don't you help me to understand. Tim whats wrong?”   
Tim sits quietly for a few moments gathering the strength he needs to say what he needs to say.   
“Gibbs wanted me to hack into the local LEO's data base and find out the names of the two civilians that were raped also. I told him I wouldn't do it. That those men have a right to their privacy and their dignity. I wouldn't put them through that again and certainly not with Gibbs as the interrogator. They have been through enough. The military men have been through a lot but this is something no man should have to go through no matter what. Let alone have himself dragged through it over and over and over again. None of those men should be made to relive what they have been through. I for one wont put them through it again. Gibbs can go to HELL!”   
Tim spits the last words as if they are venomous snakes.   
Vance sits back and takes in what the young man before him has said. He can see how hard it is for him to control his emotions. Then it dawns on him that a couple of months ago McGee had come in covered in bruises and was shaky and really jumpy. Now he understands whats happened.   
“McGee I want an honest answer from you on this next question. Can you do that?”  
“I guess so.” Tims voice quavers as he answers. Afraid that the Director already knows the truth about what happened to him.   
“About two months ago when you came in covered in bruises you told everyone that you had fallen down your apt. buildings stairs. But what really happened what you were a victim of rape yourself weren't you?” Vance asks his voice full of concern and hate for the men that did this to McGee.   
Tim just sits there stunned. His eyes on the floor. He finally lifts his head to look at the Director. “Yes I was raped and mine is one of the civilians names.” Tim says quietly almost so low that Vance doesn't hear him.   
“You don't want the others to know about your rape do you Tim?”   
He just shakes his head no.   
“That's why you refused to hack into that data based isn't it? What's to stop Miss Scuito from doing it?”  
“The firewalls are beyond her abilities. I only recently broke into it. So I know she can't.”  
“Agent McGee I want you to take a couple of days off. Go somewhere you have never been before. Think and when your ready to come back your job will be waiting for you. Do you understand me?”  
“Thank you Director. I will and I appreciate what your doing for me.”  
“Your a fine Agent McGee and I don't want to lose you. So get your stuff and get the hell out of here. I will take care of things for you with the team. You showed a lot of courage standing up to Gibbs like you did. You'll make a fine team leader one day.”  
“Thank you Director Vance.” Tim says as he rises slowly keeping his eyes on the floor as he heads to the door. Stepping through he walks right into Gibbs.   
“Get back to work McGee I want those names in a hour! Now Move it!” Gibbs barks.   
“Agent Gibbs my office now!” Vance yells.  
Taking one last look at his agent as he walks through the door.   
“Agent McGee get your stuff and go home. I'll handle this.”  
McGee starts down the stairs as he hears the door to Vance's office close. Passing by his coworkers Tony can't help but start in on the young man.   
“Whats a matter did poor little McGoo get called to the principals office? Did he get himself chewed out by the big bad principal? Whats the matter McGeek cat got your tongue?” Tony whines.   
“Tony leave him alone?” Ziva says staring daggers at her partner.   
“Why can't little orphan McFuckup take a little teasing. Is he going to go cry to the Director.”   
“Tony I said to leave it alone!” Ziva warns.  
“Why. Isn't our little Timmy here man enough to take some teasing?”   
“Tony for once in your life shut up!” Tim says quietly the ice in his voice very evident.   
“Come on McGeek what are you going to do if I don't shut up? Why were you puking your guts up in the head a while ago? Huh want to tell me that.” Tony says getting in Tim's face.   
“Its none of your business DiNozzo now leave me alone.” Tim growls.  
DiNozzo continues to push and push and aggrevate Tim till he finally breaks.   
“That's enough DiNozzo! I said leave me the hell alone! Before ….” Tim screams in Tony's face.   
“Before you what McDumbfuck?” Tony says.   
Before Ziva or Tony can react Tim has him up against the wall with his arm across his throat. “I said to leave me alone.” Tim starts to let him go when Tony spouts off again.   
“What's wrong McGoofball don't have it in you do you to take a shot at me?” Tony says snidely.  
Without Ziva seeing him move McGee rears back and punches Tony in the face slamming his head back against the wall knocking him out.  
A scream splits the silence of the bull pen.   
“McGee what did you do to Tony?” Abby screams at him.  
“I just gave him what he deserves. Now for once in your life Abby shut up and leave me alone.” Tim spits.  
“McGee don't you talk to me like that? You hear me?” Abby says defiantly.  
“If you don't want to end up like him then I suggest you shut up and leave me alone. Like I asked him to do?” Tim growls the anger in his voice evident.   
“But McGee Tony is your friend.” Abby says.  
“Friend you call what you and him put me through being friends. Making fun of me constantly. Making me put my life on the line because he doesn't want to do something. After I saved his life. All he can do is put me down. And you. You say your my friend but you cared more about a stupid dog than you did me. When ever Tony gets hurt its poor Tony, or poor Ziva, poor Gibbs, but when its me you just say suck it up and go on, stop complaining. Like the time you ruined my jacket. That cost me over two thousand dollars did you apologize or even offer to replace it. No you just laughed about it behind my back like I was nothing and no one. You don't want me but you don't want anyone else to have me.” Tim says on the verge of tears as he picks up his back pack and heads to the elevator.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Meanwhile while that was all going on Gibbs and Vance were having a conversation of their own about Agent McGee.  
“Sit down Gibbs we need to talk?”  
“So talk. I have a rapist to catch.”  
“Why did you order Agent McGee to do the search on those civilians that were raped after he told you he wouldn't do it?”  
“Because Leon those men might have information we need to catch these guys?”  
“No matter who gets hurt in the process Gibbs? Haven't those men been through enough. All McGee wants to do is to spare those men the humiliation of one of your interrogations. You should have listened to him Gibbs.”  
“What is it your not telling me Leon?”  
“I was hoping you could figure it out on your own Gibbs. Do I really have to spell this out for you?”  
Gibbs sits there lost in thought when suddenly it dawns on him why McGee didn't want to do that.  
“Oh hell Leon why didn't he just tell me he was one of their victims?”  
“Really Jethroe. You have to ask yourself that after the way you just reacted. Not to mention....”  
The rest of Vances statement is broken off as the racket downstairs has made it to Leon's office.  
Rushing out of the office both men look on in stunned silence as Tim knocks Tony out and then proceeds to let Abby have it with both barrels.  
Just as the elevator doors open and Tim steps in Abby sees Gibbs watching the scene.  
“Gibbs aren't you going to do something? McGee hurt Tony?”  
“Yes Abby I can see that he hit DiNozzo. What I want to know is what Tony did to deserve it?” Gibbs says coming down the stairs.  
“Why Tony didn't do or say anything wrong? It was McGee that was wrong for hitting Tony. And the way he talked to me Gibbs it was unforgivable.”  
“Really Abby. I think he pretty much hit the nail on the head for you both. You have treated him rotten and you have done things to him I myself would never forgive you for but he has. He not only forgave you but didn't so much as complain. Then when that dog attacked him you treated him like scum when that dog could have killed him. But all you could think about was that dog. Did you ever stop to think about McGee and his feelings? Then you forced that dog on him after it nearly killed him. Do you know how he felt? Do you? And Tony's stupid joke of putting that cd of when dogs attack in his computer. Oh that was funny to DiNozzo but if Tim had done that to Tony he wouldn't have thought it was funny and you would have torn that young man to shreds but did you say anything in his defense to Tony? Did you? I didn't think so. Now if you have nothing to report on the case I would appreciate it if you would go back to the lab and get to work. I need to go find McGee and talk to him? And get Ducky up here for DiNozzo.” Gibbs says stalking out of the bullpen on his way to the elevators. Gibbs rage doesn't subside on his way to the garage to pick up his car. He has no idea where McGee might be but he plans on checking everywhere he think the young man might go.  
Gibbs heads out to Tims apartment but doesn't even know where he lives. Pulling out his phone he hits Ziva's number and speed dials it.  
“David”  
“Ziva do you know where McGee lives? I am going to check his apartment to see if he is there. I need to talk to him.”  
“I know where it is. But I don't think that McGee would want me telling you where he lives.”  
“Ziva its important that I talk to him. Tell me where he lives.”  
For a minute the line is eerily quiet then Ziva speaks, “ All right his address is the Silver Springs apt. number 3D. Gibbs don't hurt him any more than he already has been.”  
“I won't Ziva I promise. You know what happened to him didn't you?”  
“Yes.”  
“Thank you for not telling me. Your a good friend to him Ziva and he really needs you now?”  
“Gibbs do you know why Tim didn't tell you himself?”  
“No I have no idea. Why?”  
“Because he thought you would think less of him than you already do? He doesn't think you think much of him?”  
Ziva's words hit Gibbs hard. So hard he had to pull over just so he wouldn't wreck the car. Hearing those words breaks his heart.  
“Ziva why does he think that?” Gibbs asks doing his best not to let his emotions get the better of him.  
“Because you don't listen to him when it really matters Gibbs. Now can we discuss this later and this is a conversation you should be having with Tim not me. No go find him and ask him yourself.” Ziva says as she hangs up on Gibbs leaving the man to his own thoughts.  
So lost in his thoughts he doesn't realize he is almost to his destination until someone honks at him.  
Looking up he sees McGees apartment complex. As he pulls into the lot he doesn't see McGee's car so he parks in a vacant spot and heads up to McGee's apartment to see if the young man is there.  
Gibbs looks around his agents complex and sees how shabby and run down it is. He doesn't understand why McGee lives like this. He makes enough to afford a better place to live so why doesn't he.  
Gibbs knocks waits a few minutes and knocks again. Gibbs hears the neighbors door open and turns to see and elderly woman standing there with a shot gun.  
“Can I help you young man?” She asks.  
“I'm looking for Agent McGee. Have you seen him tonight?” Gibbs asks.  
“No he should be still at work? If you work with him you should know that? Has something happened to that young man?”  
“No! He left work early and I thought he might be sick and I wanted to check on him.”  
“Well he aint home. So you want to leave a message for him?”  
“No I will just keep looking. Do you know where he might have gone to think?”  
“Well he usually goes to the park. He might be there with Jethroe his dog. He is such a nice young man.”  
“You wouldn't happen to have a key to his place would you Miss...”  
“ Nelly Granger and yes I do why?”  
“I was wondering if you could let me in so I can make sure that he isn't here and that if he is he is ok? Gibbs assures the elderly lady.  
“I guess it wouldn't hurt. Let me get the key and I will let you in?”  
“Thank you Miss Granger.”  
Gibbs waits while she goes and gets the key. As he waits he notices down the hall a cute little face peeking out from behind a door at him.  
“Hi my name is Jethroe whats yours?”  
Gibbs puts on his best smile while he waits for the little girl to tell him her name.  
He watches her as she decides to tell him her name.  
“ My name is Bobbi but I'm not supposed to talk to strange men. Are you a friend of Timmy's?” She asks in her small voice.

“Yes I am a friend of McGee's. Are you?”  
The little girl vigorously nods her head yes.  
“Have you seen Timmy tonight?”  
The little girl shakes her head no.  
“Do you know where Timmy goes when he is sad?”  
She once again nods yes.  
“Would you tell me where he goes because Timmy was really sad tonight when he left work and I am worried about him?”  
She nods once again no.  
“Why won't you tell me? Timmy might be in danger?”  
“Because he told me never to tell anyone about this secret place. He's my friend so I can't tell you.”  
she whispers just as Miss Granger comes back with the key.  
“Bobbie you need to go back inside ok dear?”  
Without another word the little girl goes back inside her apartment and closes the door.  
“She's a charming little girls isn't she Miss Granger?” Gibbs states.  
“Yes she is. Tim helps her and her mother out like he does most of us here. That poor young man. He gives so much and askes so little in return. He loves that little girl. We all love him. He has done so much for us and never asks for anything in return. Why a couple of months ago I had to call the cops because there were three men beating him and they did unspeakable things to that young man. Did you know that.... I'm sorry I forgot to ask you your name?”  
“Agent Gibbs I am Timothys boss and no I didn't know that had happened to him. Did you get a good look at those men?”  
“Why I wonder why he never told you about it? I know how embarrassed he was about the whole thing he didn't want anyone to know. I don't blame him either. If someone had done that to me I wouldn't want anyone to know. What they did to him was awful. I heard him that night crying himself to sleep then waking up screaming in the middle of the night. What that young man has been going through was just awful.”  
With that said she opens the door on Tim's empty apartment.  
“You know he still cries himself to sleep at night and still has those awful nightmares.”  
Gibbs steps in and begins looking around the apartment. Everything is neat and clean. He wonders what Tim's life would be like if this had never happened to his young agent.  
After a careful and thorough search Gibbs thanks the neighbor lady and heads off to the park. Promising himself that they will get these bastards and make them pay.  
Gibbs arrives at the park just in time to see that it is empty.  
“Ziva is there any other place you know of that McGee might go?”  
“No Gibbs?”  
“Tell DiNozzo that after you guys get the paperwork done that you can call it a night and make sure your reports are on my desk. I will see you both in the morning and maybe I can find McGee and talk some sense into him.”  
Gibbs hangs up and heads for his home stopping on the way for some Italian food from his favorite restaurant. He pulls into his driveway and heads into the house. Once inside he heads to the kitchen and sets his packages down on the table. He needs some time to think before he eats so he heads down to his basement.  
There sitting on the steps his head between his knee's is McGee.  
Gibbs walks down the stairs towards his agent.  
Reaching the young man he sits down behind him and starts to put a hand on Tim's shoulder. Tim jerks away “Please don't touch me” Tim's voice is full of loathing and self hatred. Hearing the pain and hurt in his voice breaks Gibbs heart,knowing that this loving, caring, kind man has been so badly broken and he can't even give him comfort. Knowing what was done to his agent fills him with rage.  
Gibbs gives him his time and lets the young man gather his thoughts and feelings.  
“Are you mad at me Boss?” Tim asks quietly.  
“No Tim. I'm not mad at you its me I'm mad at myself. I let you down when you needed nothing more than understanding and some one to be there for you. I wasn't either one of those for you. But I am here for you now?”  
“I take it Vance told you what happened to me?”  
“No Tim he would never betray you like that. He made me stop and think and I figured it out on my own. It took me long enough. That shows how little attention I have paid to you. I'm sorry Tim you deserve better.” With that Gibbs falls silent.  
“I'm sorry I didn't tell you Boss. But really how do you tell someone you respect that you have been raped. I know your not proud of me. I see it all the time in the disapproving looks the comments, and everything else. I didn't want you thinking less of me because I couldn't fight back. I just gave up and let them do to me what they wanted.” Tim says as the tears begin to flow once again.  
Gibbs says nothing as the tears wrack his youngest agents body, he gently wraps his arms around Tim and supports him as he continues to let his emotions and the tears out. Gibbs is suddenly aware that Tim has fallen asleep in his arms. Its been a long time since he has had someone in his arms and it feels good even if it is a man. Just then Gibbs phone rings.  
“Gibbs”  
“Gibbs its Ziva. There's been a problem with the case. The other man that was a civilian that was raped he was just found dead by the local LEO's. It looks like he was not only raped again but tortured and mutilated. Gibbs they might be going after McGee next we have to find him. Warn him and protect him.”  
“It's ok Ziva I know where he is. He will be fine I promise you?”  
“Tell me where he is so I can check on him. I will watch over him in case those animals come back for him.”  
“There is no need Ziva he is with me. He's at my place where he is going to stay till we sort this mess out and keep McGee safe.”  
“Can I speak with him Gibbs”  
“He is asleep at the moment I am going to put him to bed and then get some rest myself. I have a feeling its going to be a long night.”  
“Thank you Gibbs for watching out for him.”  
“Not a problem Ziver. Get some rest as well. I will call you in the morning to update you on Tim's well being.”  
“Night Gibbs.”  
“Night Ziver.” Gibbs says as he hangs up his phone which immediately begins to ring again. Looking at the caller Id he doesn't recognize the number.  
“Gibbs”  
“Agent Gibbs thank heavens. I wanted you to know that those men that hurt Timothy were here looking for him. I told them that he wasn't home yet and that I didn't know when he would be.”  
“Did you call the police Miss Granger?”  
“OH yes I did and they got here just in time to get the men in the parking lot. I did my best to keep them here till helped arrived. I am just so glad that Tim wont have to face those horrible men again. Do you know where Timothy is Agent Gibbs?”  
“As a matter of fact I do he is right here with me. He is sleeping and I must get him upstairs and into bed so he can be more comfortable. I will have him call you in the morning when he wakes up so you can tell him the good news. Ok Miss Granger.”  
“Well alright as long as your sure he will be safe? You have a good night then Agent Gibbs.”  
“Thank you again Miss Granger. I will let Tim know to call you in the morning.”  
Gibbs hangs up before the elderly lady can say anymore.  
Putting his hands under McGees arms he helps the young man up and then up the stairs and into the bedroom. Laying the young man down on the bed Gibbs begins to undress him after folding the covers back. Once he has McGee down to his boxers he starts to slide the covers over his mostly nude agent thats when he sees the faint scars that are on his side. Turning McGee over onto his side he sees the damage that was done to McGee long ago. He sees the criss crossing scares up and down his back they go into McGee's shorts. Gibbs covers him up and starts to leave when McGee grabs his hand in his warm soft hand and whispers “Please don't leave me alone, not tonight.” The pleading in that voice breaks Gibbs heart. Gibbs covers his youngest agent and then sits in a chair pulling it close to the bed to watch over McGee.  
Gibbs finally slows down and before he realizes it he himself is fast asleep.  
Sometime during the night Gibbs is awakend by the gentle sobs of his young agent. Who has curled up into a tight ball in the middle of the bed. Gibbs pulls the younger man against him and begins to stroke his hair and whispers soothing words into his ear. Finally McGee falls back into a restless sleep.  
Sometime later Gibbs is brought out of his sleep by McGee screaming at the top of his lungs. Looking around the room he spots the young man in the corner. His eyes are wide and the look of terror on his face hits Gibbs hard.  
Gibbs reaches for his phone and speed dials Ducky.  
“Ducky my place now!” as he hangs up on his old friend.  
Twenty minutes later and McGee is still screaming in terror finds Ducky standing in Gibbs bed room with two terrified agents.  
“My God Jethroe whats happened to Timothy?”  
“He's having a really bad nightmare. I will tell you about it but can you give him something to put him out. To calm him down so we can get him back to bed.”  
“Yes most certainly Jethro.”  
Ducky reaches into his bag and pulls out a small vial and syringe. Filling it up he carefully walks over to the young man and proceeds to put the sedative into Tim's arm hoping that it will calm him down.  
After a few minutes wait the sedative has worked and with Ducky's help they get the young man back into bed and covered up.  
Leaving the bedroom door open they head downstairs Gibbs for coffee Ducky for his tea.  
Once both are going the two men sit down and begin to talk about whats happened.  
“What is Timothy doing here Jethroe much less in your bed with you?”  
Gibbs gives him a small smile. “I came home to find him in the basement Duck. He was so broken, so hurt. I just put my arms around him and let him get it out. Before I knew it he had fallen asleep in my arms. Then the phone rang and it was McGee's neighbor telling me that the men who did this were at Tim's apt. looking for him. I asked her if she called the cops and she told me she had. Even kept the bastards there till the cops could arrive. They picked them up exiting Tims building. I didn't have the heart to wake him after all he's been through. After his neighbor lady hung up then Ziva called to tell me the other man they had raped was dead and that she thought they were after Tim. So I decided I wasn't going to leave him alone tonight so I put him upstairs in my room and when I started to leave he asked me to stay so I did. He woke up crying and when I got him back to sleep he slept for I don't know how long but he woke up screaming and I couldn't get near him to calm him down thats when I called you. I knew you would be able to help.”  
“I am glad you called me Jethroe but we can't let the others know what has happened to our young Timothy. He needs our help not our ridicule.”  
“I know Duck thats why I called you. I don't think Tim would want a stranger seeing him like that. Hell I don't like seeing him like that. Did you see the utter terror in his eyes like he was reliving that night over and over again.”  
“Does any of the rest of the team know what happened to Timothy?”  
“Ziva does but he swore her to secrecy. Then theres Vance. He is the one that put me onto it. Other than that just You and me Ducky.”  
“Good that makes what happened in the bull pen makes sense. I can understand why Timothy didn't want to give you the names because one of them was his. Thats why he punched DiNozzo in the nose and said those things to Abigail. I truly understand now.”  
“I even said some harsh things to her and about Tony but what they have said and done to McGee is just vengeful and they set out to hurt him. He was giving what he was being given. I don't blame him one bit. Do you Duck?”  
“No I can't say as I blame the young man.”  
They sit in silence lost in their own thoughts.  
How long they sit there they don't know.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Ziva sits at her desk watching the events unfold and hearing Tim's words. She wonders why its taken her friend so long to say those words.  
Just then Ducky comes up the stairs and begins tending to Tony's nose and his concussion from where his head was slammed back against the wall.  
Ziva quietly listens to the conversation between Ducky, Abby, and Tony.  
Finally Ziva has had enough of Abby's gushing over Tony.  
“Abby lets go back to your lab we need to talk.”  
“But Tony needs me. I can't leave him. He's hurt. I need to take care of him.”  
“Abby Ducky is with him. He will be just fine. Now lets go to the lab.” Ziva says glaring at the goth making sure that this is not a request but a demand.  
Without another word Abby stands and follows Ziva to the elevator. Once inside and the elevator is moving Ziva reaches over and pushes the stop button.  
“Abby do you care about McGee at all?”  
“How can you ask me that Ziva? You know I do?”  
“Well you sure have a poor way of showing it?”  
“What do you mean I show him how I feel just like I do everyone else?”  
“Really Abby because I distinctly remember you being more upset that he shot that dog than you were about him almost losing his life over it. I remember when he got that Jacket and you deliberately ruined it. Is that how you show someone you care?”  
“Well it was McGee's fault if he hadn't shot the dog I would never have been mad at him. As for the jacket well he had promised to go to a concert with me and then he didn't make it and I was mad at him.”  
“See thats what I mean you blame McGee for everything. You never do anything wrong do you Abby? He couldn't go to that concert that night with you because he had gotten food poisoning and was at the hospital till 4 am that morning. Yet you never took anything into account did you?”  
“Then there was the time he got so sick he almost died because Gibbs made him wade into that contaminated hot tub. But all you did was tell him to suck it up and not be such a baby. This and more makes me wonder if your truly his friend or if he is just your whipping boy. He deserves better than you and I for one hope he finds it.”  
Abby just stares at Ziva for a moment when the tears start to flow.  
“I never ment to hurt Tim.”  
“But you do Abby, you hurt him so much and yet you think only of yourself. Maybe Tim leaving is for the better we all are guilty of taking him and his skills for granted. Even me. So before you say or do something else to hurt that young man you need to take a good hard long look at yourself. Tony needs to do the same. I don't blame Tim for not wanting to come back. After the way he has been treated. Now get back to work Abs.” 

The doors on the elevator opens and Abby steps out of the box and starts to go into the lab when she turns around only to be met by the stainless steel doors. 

Ziva heads back up to the bull pen. Upon entering she see's Ducky has gone and Tony is still working on his report.  
“Tony are you almost finished with your report?”  
DiNozzo just glares at her from across the isle.  
Just then her phone rings. Glancing at the caller id she sees that its Gibbs.  
“David”  
“Ziva do you know where McGee lives. I need to talk to him.”  
“Yes Gibb's I do but I do not think I should give that to you?”  
“I need to find him Ziva please tell me where he lives I want to know he is alright.”  
Ziva thinks about it for a minute then proceeds to tell Gibbs where her friend lives.  
“Thanks Ziva. Tell Tony that when you guys are finished with your reports you can go home. I want those on my desk in the morning.”  
Without another word Ziva closed her phone. Turning to Tony she relates Gibbs last message to him and picks up her things and places her report on Gibbs desk. She smiles as she passes Tony's desk on her way out.  
Tony just sits there glaring at her back. Once she is gone he gets up and goes over to McGee's computer and tries to bring it up. He saw McGee do something to his computer but what Tony doesn't know and he can't get it back up. He could ask one of the geeks from cyber crimes to come take a look at it but he knows that will do know good.  
He hopes there is a reason that he can find for McGoofoff for attacking him. But he has no luck.  
So he goes back to his desk and does his best to finish his report knowing that the Boss will want it when he comes in in the morning.  
Tony works for a couple more hours then places the report on Gibbs desk before packing up his things and heading towards the elevator and home.  
Maybe he will stop by McGee's place and see if the Geek is home.  
Without another thought he climbs into his car and heads to Tim's apartment in Silver Springs.  
Just as he is about to turn into the complex he see's that the parking lot if full of cop cars and an ambulance.  
Parking he goes up to one of the officers and flashes his badge.  
“Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. Whats going on here Sgt.?”  
“This is a local matter and none of your business Agent DiNozzo. Now I would appreciate it if you leave.”  
Tony starts to turn to go when he spots Tim's elderly neighbor out of the corner of his eye. He heads over to the elderly lady and begins to talk to her.  
“Miss Granger can you tell me what happened here?”  
Looking up into his face she smiles sweetly and states “ Oh yes Anthony. You see there were these three men that had come looking for Timothy. Well I didn't know who they were so when I saw them hanging around the door I called the police. They told me to try and keep them there and I was able to until they arrived to arrest them.”  
“Do you know why they wanted to talk to Tim, Miss Granger?”  
“OH yes I do and they didn't want to talk to Timothy they wanted to hurt him some more and then I suspect they were going to kill him.”  
“Why would they want to kill McGee, Miss Granger?”  
“Because they had hurt him the first time. I guess they thought he would tell on them for hurting him?”  
“How did they hurt Tim, Miss Granger?”  
Just then a detective walks up and interruptes Tony's questions.  
“Miss Granger will you come with me please.”  
“Oh yes officer I certainly will go with you.”  
Tony watches as the Miss Granger is lead away by the officer. Seeing his only chance to find out whats going on with McGee and why all the cops are at his apartment. “What did she mean by the men who hurt Tim and them wanting to kill him.” Tony wonders. “What the hell is going on with his Probie and why would someone want to kill him?” Tony decided then and there he would find out what was going on and make sure no matter what that McGee knows that he has his back. 

The officer watches out of the corner of his eye as Tony stands there contemplating whats going on. Leaning down and whispering in Nelly's ear, “Miss Granger what did that man want?”  
“He said he worked with Tim and wanted to know what had happened? I told him those men hurt Tim and that they were going to hurt him again, and maybe kill him this time. Did I do something wrong officer?”  
“No ma’am but next time someone starts asking you about Mr. McGee we would appreciate it if you wouldn't tell them anything and call us immediately.”  
“I will be sure to do that young man. Oh I almost forgot that earlier this other gentleman oh I guess in his fifties came around asking about Tim and if he was home. I told him that Tim hadn't come home from work yet and that if he worked with him then he would know that. He told me he was his boss and that Tim had left work suddenly and he wanted to make sure that Tim was okay. I know I shouldn't have but I let him into Tim's apartment so he could make sure that Tim wasn't there. He was such a nice man. I sure hope he didn't have anything to do with what happened to Timothy.”  
“Did you happen to get this man's name?”  
“Why yes I did. He said his name was Agent Gibb's and that he was Tim's boss.”  
“ Thank you Miss Granger you've been a big help and we will check both of these men out and make sure things are really as they are supposed to be.”  
“Your welcome and please when you find Timothy would you let him know we are all for him and we want him to come home as soon as possible. We all miss him a great deal especially Bobbie. Tim used to take her to the park with him and Jethro so she could be outside when her mother is at work. She loves him and that dog. He would take care of her when her mom wasn't home. She thinks the world of Tim.”  
“Did she see this man you mentioned?”  
“Why yes she did. In fact I heard him asking her if she knew where Tim was but she refused to tell him anything.” With that they reach Nelly's door.  
“If you think of anything else Miss Granger please don't hesitate to call us. Good night”  
“I won't and you becareful and good night.”

Tony watches as the officer walks the elderly woman back to her apartment. Getting into his car he opens his phone and dials Ziva's number.  
“David”  
“Hey Ziva have you talked to Tim tonight?”  
“No Tony and if this is a fishing expedition I suggest you leave it and McGee alone. If he wanted you to know what is wrong he would have told you.”  
Without another word Ziva disconnects the call.

Tony sits there a minute before starting the car and heading to the only other person who might have a clue as to what might be going on with his Probie and little brother.  
Reaching Gibbs place he doesn't notice the other cars and just parks and heads up to the door. Opening it he just walks in only to be ment by a very angry Gibbs.  
“What the hell are you doing here DiNozzo?”  
“Can't I just come by and talk?”  
“Not now you can't now go home.”  
Just then a scream pierces the night. Forgetting about DiNozzo Gibbs runs up the stairs to the master bedroom and Tim. Tony starts to follow only to be stopped by Ducky coming out of the kitchen.  
“Where do you think your going Anthony?”  
“Why upstairs to find out if the Boss needs some help.”  
“No Tony you will not. You will get back in your car and go home like Jethro said. This is none of your business and if Jethro wants your help he will ask for it. Now Go. I have a patient to attend to.” Ducky says his voice full of anger and ice. Leaving no room for any discussion.  
Tony looks at him for a second then hangs his head and turns to leave as a second scream splits the night. Looking over his shoulder he sees Ducky still standing there guarding the staircase and the secret him and the boss are keeping from him. Without another glance Tony walks out the front door shutting it quietly and walks to his car to leave.  
Ducky immediately walks over and locks the door.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

After they finally get Tim calmed down and once again sedated both men fall asleep. Ducky in the spare bedroom and Gibbs on the couch where he normally sleeps anyway. They left the bedroom door open just in case McGee wakes up and they are needed once again.   
The sunlight streaming through the living room windows and the smell of fresh brewed coffee stir Gibbs out of his slumber. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he hears noises coming from the kitchen. Thinking its Ducky making tea he gets up and heads to the kitchen only to come up short. There at the stove is his youngest agent making breakfast, a cup of coffee next to him on the counter. The smells coming from the kitchen make Gibbs mouth water.   
Coming closer he watches as McGee flips pancackes, sausage, and eggs in three different pans. As he watches McGee bends down and pulls something from the oven.   
“Are you going to just stand there and watch or are you going to grab a cup of coffee and help?” Tim asks a smile gracing his lips for the first time in a long time.   
“If the coffee is half as good as the rest of what I'm smelling then you can cook in my house anytime. What can I do to help you McGee?”   
The slip back into the formal use of his name doesn't go unnoticed by Tim he chooses to ignore it.  
“Would you mind starting some tea for Ducky and when the biscuits are done would you mind buttering them after I take them out of the oven?”  
“Not at all.” Gibbs says filling a cup with coffee as he starts getting the tea pot ready for Ducky's tea.  
“B..B...Boss I...I..wanted to T...T...Thank you for helping me l...l...last n...n..night.”   
Hearing Tim's stutter return Gibbs places a hand on the younger man's shoulder, immediately regretting the move as Tim shrinks away at the merest touch. Dropping his hand Gibbs turns and does his best to look McGee in the eyes. Failing at that he leaves it alone vowing that they will talk about it later. “Your welcome McGee.” Gibbs says a smile reaching his voice but not his eyes.   
“You didn't have to make breakfast though.” Gibbs says.  
“I...I...w..w..wanted t..t..to d...d...do s...s...something for you and D...D...Ducky f...f...for all you d...d...d...did f...f...for m..m..me. I...I...know it w..w..wasn't n..n..nec..ce...ssary.” Tim says as he leans down and takes the biscuits out of the oven. Handing the butter to Gibbs from the refrigerator he asks, “d..d..do you have any j..j..jelly f...f..for t..them?”   
“If I do it will be in the cupboard above your head.”   
Gibbs heart breaks seeing how desperately that McGee is trying to keep his stutter from coming back and his emotions in control. He knows the young man wants things to be back to the way they were. He just wants to be normal again. They both know that will never happen. Gibbs knows that McGee and the other survivors have a lot more to go through to get better and to get back to some semblance of normalcy. Gibbs hates whats been done to the young man but more what they have taken from him. His life, his pride, his control, everything that meant so much to him.   
Just then Ducky walks in bringing Gibbs out of his thoughts.   
“Good Morning Jethro. How are you doing this morning Timothy?”  
“I'm fine Ducky.”   
“Well I will be the judge of that. After breakfast, which by the way smells absolutely wonderful, why don't you let me have a look at you.” Ducky smiles.  
“I'm fine really Ducky. There's no need.”  
“I think you better let him check you over McGee. You know he will hound you till you do.” Gibbs says with a grin.   
“Really I'm okay. But since it will make you feel better to poke and prod me then I will do it just for you Ducky.” Tim says with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes.   
They eat in silence until Gibbs acknowledges the elephant in the room.  
“McGee have you told anyone about whats happened to you?”  
“No!”  
“Don't you think you should. Don't you think your parents would want to know and Sarah?” Ducky asks.  
“NO!” Tim practically screams.  
“But why dear boy.”  
“I don't want Sarah to know. My parents wouldn't care anyway. My mom's dead and my Dad he would just say it serves me right. I just got what I deserve for being so weak. That those men must have seen that I was a faggot and that I deserved it.” Tim says almost in a whisper that both men almost don't catch.   
Gibbs anger begins to rise. How could anyone think that of their own child much less about someone as kind, caring, and compassionate as McGee.   
“Why would he think that McGee?”  
“Because when I was about ten he caught me kissing another boy, my best friend at the time. He began beating me after that. I tried to tell him that I wouldn't do it again but he just continued to beat me telling me no son of his was going to be a fag.” Tim spits out trying to keep the rage inside along with the hurt.  
“When did he stop beating you?” Ducky asks his voice full of concern.  
“Up until I went to college then the mental abuse started. Since he couldn't get to me physically he would call me constantly and berate me, tell me how worthless and useless I was, about how I would never amount to anything, about how I would never be a man. That I should just do the world and him a favor and kill myself. I even tried a couple of times but I failed at that even. He is right I'm good for nothing, useless, I couldn't even kill myself and succeed.” Tim's anger and self loathing at himself comes to the surface with a vengeance. Standing up he turns to leave just as Ducky's hand comes to rest on his arm, he screams “ DON'T TOUCH ME!!!!” as he runs from the room and out the front door.   
“My my what are we going to do Jethro? That young man is in so much pain and now this.”  
“I don't know. All we can do now is be here for him.” “Although this explains a lot. I think we should talk to Ziva I think she can help him. I know that he told her what happened to him. Maybe she can find a way to get through to him.” Gibbs says the sadness in his heart coming through his voice.  
“He's not the only one who is needing help.”  
“What do you mean Ducky?”  
“I'm talking about you Jethro. This is tearing you apart. I can see it even if no one else can. It hurts you to see him like this.”  
“It would hurt to see any of them hurting like this Duck.”  
“Maybe but that young man has a special place in your heart. I've watched you over the years push him away. Doing what ever you thought you could to keep him at arms length. I've seen the way you look at him sometimes. They glances you've given him. You need to tread carefully Jethro. That boy can't take you hurting him not like every one else in his life has. He cares about and for you. He idolizes you and thinks the world of you.”   
“I don't know what your talking about Ducky.” Gibbs answers with venom in his voice, knowing that what Ducky says is true. He does care about McGee and he has done his best to keep the young man at arms length. Sometimes going as far as doing what he can to hurt him. But McGee has always come back and taken things with a grain of salt.   
They sit there in silence for a few more minutes, until Ducky gets up and begins clearing the breakfast dishes away. Noticing how little Tim has eaten worries him. He doesn't mention it but vowes to keep an eye on Timothy and make sure his health doesn't begin to suffer.   
Gibbs meanwhile pulls out his phone and hits Ziva's number.

 

Tim racing out Gibbs front door has no idea where he is running to he just knows he has to get out of there. Suddenly he finds himself at a nearby park with a small pond in the middle. Finding a bench he sits down and lets his thoughts drift as he watches the water. Thinking to himself, “who am I kidding. Gibbs won't want me back on the team. Hell I will be doing good to just be transferred and not fired after hitting Tony yesterday, running off like I did and yelling at Abby. Hell they are Gibbs favorites. He barely notices me. He only notices me when I screw up or he wants something done. I should just resign saving him the hassle of firing me, or transferring me somewhere. My dad was right I am useless. I don't know why Gibbs kept me on the team so long. I'm such a screw up. Everything I do is wrong. Even Tony was right I guess when he told everyone that I was gay. Maybe I am. Maybe I deserved what happened to me. I am weak. I can't go back there. I can't face the rest of them. They all probably know anyway. Hell the whole dam agency probably knows. Abby probably already hacked into the local LEO's data base to find out. Her and Tony have never respected me or my privacy. This is just one more thing for them to tease me about. To make fun of me about. “Poor little McGeek got raped. Boo hoo hoo.” I don't think I can stand to hear that or to see that people know what happened to me. I don't want their pity. I just want to be left alone. Why can't they just leave me alone.” Tim screams.   
Just then a gentle hand is placed on his arm. “Tim its okay.”   
Turning he looks into Ziva's chocolate brown eyes and sees compassion, not pity. He throws his arms around her and hugs her to him. Letting the anger, the pain, and the sorrow out, as well as his tears.   
“You will get through this Tim. I know. Remember what I told you happened to me in Somalia?”  
“Yes”Tim whispers.   
“I got through that. You will get through this I promise you Tim.”  
“I'm not as strong as you are Ziva.”  
“Your stronger Tim. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't be here right now.  
Pulling back to look her in the eyes, “What do you mean?”  
“Do you remember that night you came to see me at the apartment?”  
“Yes, I remember you had been crying. I've never seen you cry until then.”  
“Do you know why I was crying?”  
“You said that it was because of what happened.”  
“Yes it was. But the point Tim is that because you took the time to be there for me. To listen without judging me, or pitying me, to be a real and true friend to me when no one else would. That meant a lot to me. It made me realize I wasn't alone. That someone thought enough of me that they wanted to be there for me no matter what. Do you understand?” Ziva asks quietly.  
“Yes but your my friend I would do anything to help a you. But I still don't understand why you said it was because of me your still here?”  
“Tim what I'm about to say is very hard for me to say or to admit. That night before you came over I was sitting there with my gun in my mouth. I was going to commit suicide. If it hadn't of been for you being there for me, I would have killed myself. It was your strength, your compassion, your self sacrifice, and your love that stopped me. Your continued love and support is what helps me to keep going along with your strength. Don't let this consume you like it did me. Talk to someone. I mean professionally. We are all here for you.”  
Tim takes a minute to let her words sink in.  
“I doubt that everyone is here for me Ziva. Not Tony, not Abby and especially not Gibbs. You didn't see the disgust or the hatred in his eyes. I can't go back there Ziva not to the agency. Not to Gibbs house. By now its all over the agency and I can't take the look in their eyes or the whispers behind my back. I just can't. Everyone would be better off if I just left or died. They should have just killed me.”  
“No Tim. You are not going to be better off leaving the agency or the team. You are a good man, a kind man, a man with a lot of love to give to the right person. You didn't deserve what happened to you anymore than I did or those other men. But what you do deserve is respect, kindness, compassion, and most of all justice. If you ever think about ending your life you call me, talk to me. I am here for you. I think you will be surprised to find out that there are a lot of people here that care about you. Now come on lets go back to Gibbs house.” Ziva says pulling Tim up with herself.   
Leaving the park they get half way back to Gibbs place when it hits Tim. “Ziva how did you know where to find me and who called you?” Tim asks.  
“Gibbs did both. He is very worried about you Tim. Him and Ducky both. He wanted me to talk to you and bring you back to the house. He said they wanted to make sure your safe and that you should know they are here for you anytime.”  
Without another word they arrive back at Gibbs house just as Ducky is walking down to the steps to his car to leave.   
“Ziva I see you found him.”  
“Yes Ducky I did. Thanks to you and Gibbs.”  
Turning to Tim, he says with a smile, “ My dear boy do be a good lad and do try and eat a little more. I will be keeping my eyes on you.”  
“Thank you Ducky for everything.”  
“It was nothing dear boy. Now I suggest you get back in there before Jethro eats the rest of those delicious biscuits you made and please do give me the recipe.”  
Ziva and Tim laugh and its a good thing to hear.   
“I will Ducky. I will come down later and see you. You can look me over then and I will give you that recipe when I come down.” Tim states with a smile that finally reaches his eyes.  
Patting Tim on the shoulder, he notices the young man flinch. Smiling he walks to his car and leaves.   
“How about we go inside Tim. I would love to try these biscuits that Ducky was talking about.”  
Without another word Tim lets Ziva lead him inside.  
Sitting at the table waiting on them is one very angry Gibbs. Relief flooding his face when the two of them walk in.   
“Thank you Ziva.” Gibbs states. “Sit down McGee we need to talk.”  
Tim waits for the other shoe to drop. Staring at his hands in his lap he waits.  
“McGee look at me.”  
Tim keeps his eyes and head down.   
“McGee I said look at me.” Gibbs demands with a little more force in his voice.  
Tim looks into Gibbs eyes and instantly regrets doing so. He steels himself for what he knows is about to happen. No matter what Ziva has said he knows that his job is over and with it the normalcy he so desperately wants and needs.  
Gibbs watches the emotions and thoughts play across his youngest agents face and in his eyes.   
“McGee I'm not going to fire you, transfer you, or do anything else to you. I want you to know and understand that Ziva, Ducky and me are all here for you. We are here to help.”  
“But what about Tony, Abby, and the Director?”  
“Vance is the one that brought my attention to the problem remember? Tony and Abs let me deal with them, and anyone else who gives you trouble.”  
“Tell him what Tony did to you when you first came to the team Tim. Tell him what you told me?”  
“I can't Ziva. He already thinks bad enough of me already. I don't wanting him thinking any less of me than he already does.”  
Before Ziva can say another word, Gibbs interrupts, “McGee what gives you the idea that I think bad of you or that I think any less of you. Your a dam good agent, and I am very proud of you son. You do things that none of us can do.”  
“If your so proud of me then why do you let Tony and Abby do the things they do to me. Say the things they do? You barely even notice me unless I screw up. Or you need my skills. Or there is a dirty job you want done and it doesn't matter what happens to me. Like the time you made me go into that hot tub to retrieve a body but I told you it was hazardous conditions and you made me do it anyway. Do you know how sick I got because of it? Did you care? No! So why should I believe you care now. Did you care when I was almost killed because Tony spread rumors that I was gay? Did you care when I was attacked by Jethro and almost killed? Did you care when Abby scolded me for shooting him and then was mad at me. Did you object or say anything to her or Tony when she made me take the dog even though she knew how scared I was of him. When Tony put that cd in my computer and scared me half to death? Did you care when Abby lied to you about opening my apartment door and letting Mikal in, when I told her not to open the door? No instead you berated me and took her side. Like you always do. I even took the blame when we were in Mexico and she insisted that we go out to that crime scene. Did she bother to tell you that I offered to be their prisoner to keep her and the others safe? How am I supposed to trust you and believe you when all these times you were never there for me. Now why all of the sudden am I supposed to believe you? Tell me why?” Tim voice has risen full of anger as he spits out the last words.   
Gibbs takes in everything McGee has said and remains quiet knowing he has done a great disservice to this young man. Causing him more hurt than anyone. Gibbs watches as McGee gets up, grabs his keys and heads out the door. His heart breaking with each step McGee takes. He knows he may lose this young man if he doesn't do something to fix this.   
“Are you just going to let him walk out of here? We have all made mistakes Gibbs even me. You will regret it if you let him leave.” Ziva states matter of factly.  
Gibbs just sits there staring as the door closes behind McGee. 

Tim walks out to the car hoping that Gibbs will prove him wrong and come after him but he doesn't. Getting into his car he drives back to his apartment. Losing himself in his thoughts. When he reaches his door there is police tape across it. Hanging his head in resignation he turns to leave when a small voice makes him stop in his tracks.  
“Are you leaving Tim?” Bobbie asks.   
“Just for a little while. Then I will be back. I just have to find somewhere to stay for a bit. But when I get back we will take Jethro to the park and have mac and cheese and you and Jethro can play to your hearts content. Will that be okay honey?” Tim asks as he see's the tears in the little girls eyes as they fall down her cheeks.   
“I guess so but why do you have to leave. Why can't you stay here. I love you Timmy.”  
“I know you do sweetheart but I don't have any place to stay until the police are done with my apartment. But I promise you I will be back and then we can play.”   
“Alright can I have a hug before you go?”   
“Sure you can sweetheart.” Tim says as he bends down and picks up the little girl. Hugging her tightly he feels the tears trying to start again. Kissing her cheek he puts her down and brushing the tears off her cheeks. “Now go back in to your apartment, lock the door and I promise I will see you soon. Love you Bobbie.” Tim says as he turns and walks back down the stairs trying his best to keep the tears at bay.   
Once in his car he heads to the one place that he feels safe and can let his emotions out.   
Parking he walks into the park and heads for his favorite bench. Luckily there is no one around and he sits watching the waves move in and out. The ocean has always calmed him. He needs it now more than ever. He wonders where he will go now and what he will do. He has his writing but even now it alludes him. He hasn't been able to write since all this started. Now he doesn't even have a home to go to. For the first time in his life he truly feels alone. Putting his head in his hands he lets the tears fall. Never caring or thinking of what people would think or say if they see him. After awhile he gets up and heads into the office. He knows that once he gets there he is going to resign and clean out his desk. Feeling like there is nothing else he can do. He loves his job for the most part and he knows he is going to miss Ziva, Ducky and Jimmy but he isn't sure about the rest of the team.   
Driving back to the yard. Tim goes over in his head what he wants to put in his resignation letter. He feels its better this way. He knows that after what he said to Gibbs and him attacking Tony there is no why he still has a job. At least this way he can leave with a little of his dignity and pride in tact.   
His heart breaks even more as he steps off the elevator knowing that this will be the last time he will ever do it. Sitting as his computer he boots it up and unlocks it. For a second he looks at the progress his searches have made. Minimizing the windows he pulls up his word processor and begins to type out his resignation letter. Once he finishes he forwards a copy to Vance, HR, and the last one to Gibbs. Then he begins to write a letter of apology to Tony and Abby. Once that is done he leaves his computer unlocked and gathers his things one last time. Taking his gun, badge, and phone off he gently places them on Gibbs desk. As he heads to the elevator a voice stops him.   
“My boy what are you doing here at this hour?” Ducky asks concern in his voice.  
“I was just leaving.” taking one last look at the bullpen he heads once again to the elevator.   
“Timothy would you mind walking me to my car?”   
“No Ducky it will be my pleasure.” Tim says a smile on his face that doesn't quit reach his eyes.   
Once the doors shut Ducky turns to Tim, “ Is there something wrong Timothy?”   
“No Ducky nothings wrong. Why do you ask?”   
“Just curios my boy. Did you and Jethro have a good talk after I left? Did you remember that recipe for me?”   
“ We did have a good talk and I will email you the recipe tomorrow. I forgot it.”  
“Are you going somewhere?”  
“I thought I would take a few days off and clear my head. Maybe things will calm down around here by the time I come back.”   
“That's a good idea Tim. Do you have any place in mind?”  
“No think I will just drive and when I decide to come back I will.”  
Unbeknownst to anyone at the agency Tim bought himself a small cabin up in the mountains on a local lake with no one around so he can write and think. That is where he is headed. He bought it under another name so no one would be able to trace it back to him. After his second book was published he decided he needed to be able to get away without anyone being able to find him.   
“You will be careful won't you Timothy?” Ducky asks.  
“I will. I will let you know where I am Ducky. Thank you for being a friend. It means a great deal to me that your here for me.”  
“Timothy you know that the others are here for you as well.”   
“I know but right now I just need some time to myself.”  
“Alright but take care of yourself and be careful.”   
“Thanks Ducky. I will”   
Just then the elevator doors open and both men head to the garage to retrieve their cars and be on their way.  
Taking one last look at his home away from home, Tim feels a deep sadness in his heart as he realizes that this is the last time he will set foot here.  
Ducky watches as Tim takes one last look around. He knows in his heart that this maybe the last time he see's young Timothy. He watches for a minute as Tim gets into his car and leaves maybe for the last time.   
Ducky pulls out his phone and hits Gibbs number.  
“Gib...”  
“Jethro what did you say to Timothy?” Ducky interrupts before Gibbs can even answer.  
“I didn't say much of anything to him. Why? Whats happened?” Gibbs says concern coloring his voice.  
“I just happened to be at the yard when I ran into Timothy. He said he was taking some time off to clear his head but Jethro when he left I got the distinct feeling it was for the last time. Their was a deep and profound sadness in the boy. I think he resigned Jethro.”   
“This is all my fault Duck. I have hurt him and now I for once don't know how to fix this. What do I do?”  
“Well I for one suggest talking to him really talking to him. Tell him how you feel Jethro. He needs to know and understand that you are not disgusted with him. Nor are you holding him responsible for what's happened and I do mean all of whats happened. He needs our support and understanding. He needs you to show him you care. That we all care for him and about him. He needs to know that he isn't weak or that he isn't unloved.”   
“But how do I do that Duck.”   
“That my dear friend is up to you.” Ducky says as he hangs up without another word.  
Ducky leaves and heads home losing himself in his thoughts.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
Tim finally arrives at his cabin. Taking in his groceries and the other items he knows he needs, putting them up. He returns to the porch with a cup of coffee he made while he putting his stuff away.   
Sitting in the rocking chair he stares out at the lake. Letting his thoughts wander, he begins thinking about what he said to Gibbs. He knows that things will never be the same between them. No matter how much he wanted more and still does he knows now that nothing will come of it. Maybe someday Gibbs will forgive him but right now he needs time to heal. Maybe even Tony and Abby will but he doesn't expect them to. After all Abby has done to him, said to him he still misses her. Tony was like the big brother he never had and now thats gone. Everything he worked so hard for is gone. Wondering what he is going to do now. Knowing he has enough to live on squirreled away where it can't be traced. Now he has time to write, but his heart isn't in it. All he wants to do is crawl into a hole and die. Hard as he might try the tears and sorrow come unbidden.   
He has nothing left. Feeling like his life is over he thinks how easy it would be to just walk into the lake and never come out. He wonders what its like to die. Would it hurt. Would he feel pain. Would he just fall asleep. He feels empty inside. Like he can never love or be loved. How can any one want him now. “I'm damaged goods. I've never been much good at love and now what am I supposed to do? The nightmares are hard and they are going to continue. How do I get through this and get my life back?”   
Going back into the cabin Tim heads for the small bedroom. Looking at the empty bed he can only wonder if he will ever share this with someone or if his bed will always be empty and filled with sorrow. Laying down on the bed he quickly falls asleep. 

Suddenly Tim's screams pierce the night as the nightmare overwhelms him. Sitting up he realizes that the bed is wet and he is covered in sweat. Knowing he will never get back to sleep he gets up and fixes himself something to eat and some coffee. He realizes as he steps out into the cool morning air that the sun is about to rise. He realizes that he has slept most of the night. Watching the sun rise he knows that its time to put this and everything else behind him. To take control of his life once again.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
Ziva's left Gibbs to his own thoughts and feelings. When she gets home she notices Tony's car in the parking lot and wonders what he is doing here.  
Getting out she walks quickly to her apartment and notices a light on that she didn't leave on. Figuring its Tony she cautiously opens the door and steps in knife at the ready just in case.   
Seeing Tony on her couch she asks, “ What are you doing here DiNozzo?”  
Turning Tony sees her standing behind him.   
“I wanted to know if you have seen or talked to McGeek?I want to know whats going on with him.”  
“His name is McGee and what is going on with him is private and he will tell you if and when he is ready. Until then its none of your business. Now leave before I throw you out.” Ziva says anger coloring her voice.   
“Don't get your panties in a knot. I was just asking. I'm worried about him.”   
“So am I Tony but he is a private person and if he wanted you to know he would tell you. Personally I think he should have done more than knocked you out and bloodied your nose. What you said was uncalled for and very derogatory. You had no right to say those things or do what you did.” 

 

TBC.


End file.
